I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
