So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
