so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
barbara walters just said penis...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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