You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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