Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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