Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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