Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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