So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
