my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
