she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
