am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
