what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
