Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
