I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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