id be glad to
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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