ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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