your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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