I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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