i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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