Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I believe in your delicious
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize