I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
