Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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