he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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