nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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