I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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