he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
