What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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