I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
