After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
