I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
