Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
