Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've blown a few things in my day
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
