shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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