Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize