the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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