I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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