Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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