But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she smelled like a LAN party
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
