Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
