those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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