think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
