Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
