so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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