my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
