i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
