It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize