sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
