Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
