well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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