She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
