What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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