he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize