I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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