i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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