He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize