He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
