my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
