i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
