he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
