ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
