I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
