I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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