it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
