I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize