I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
