Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need to sanitize my soul.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
