Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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