Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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