oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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