I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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